I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
