you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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