I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
