They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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