is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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