bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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