I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
