are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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