had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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