thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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