Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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