fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
