well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
