Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
