And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
