I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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