can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
