there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
