Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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