I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
