So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
