you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When are your genitals available?
you never un-have a 4some
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
