I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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