Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
