when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
