Duck Duck Cougar?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize