your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
