I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The air was thick with penises
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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