i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
