he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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