call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
