So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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