I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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