What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
