I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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