do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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