you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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