It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
