He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
