She's JV to your varsity
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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