I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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