Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
