I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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