Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
