Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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