I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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