I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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