Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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