Banned from zoo.
Again?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
