he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
tell me about the fingering
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