All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
