so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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