i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
