Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
