I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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