ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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