I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
