I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize