Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
