it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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