it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
