We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
